It can feel, at times, like you are lost in the deepest darkness, making your way who knows where through the thickest fog.
The ground beneath your shaking feet is shifting. You are emotionally overwhelmed and entangled in externals that draw you away from yourself.
Just to know where to step next, you have to find yourself first. Everything depends on you knowing who you are so that you can proceed. You are searching.
You have always been searching, one way or another. Choosing to believe in a religion or a political leader is an easy way out, a pretence. It gives you a false sense of security, which means you can go off to other pursuits, to do well in the world.
But deep down, you are still searching and you know it. Believing is not going to help. Only awakening in your own right will make a real difference. You will continue to search until you do that.
Sometimes the search will seem to overcome you. It's as if every false form of security forsakes you. The subliminal quest becomes central and, intentionally or not, you become consumed by it.
That is when you are feeling your way through the fog. Then, your lifetime of effort seems to be in the balance. Everything is culminating, cresting and crumbling.
Moments move from meaningless to momentous, from destitute to divine. Slowly you make profound progress.
In the context of all this tension, situations arise that shift you. All your searching has prepared you and an insight happens. Then another.
Your being quakes into place. Some circumstance synchronises with your state, and you jolt into awakening. You see where you are and who you are in an instant. Everything has been your preparation.
The situation galvanises you. Maybe someone suitable gives you a push. You learn to fly.
You remember who you are.